Sunday, January 19, 2014

Guilt...no thank you!



This morning as I opened up my email to read it, I saw a message from a good friend of mine. From reading the title of the message, I knew it wasn't just a regular personal greeting from her. It was a forwarded message and it said "Bible Verse Exchange" at the top. I opened it up, knowing pretty much what it was. It was a very polite invitation to share a favorite Bible verse with the last person who's name was at the bottom of the list...you know how it goes...we've all received these at one time or another. The rules were to forward your verse to 20 of your friends...you know, the ones that "I know who will participate and who won't"  friends and in the process we would all be bombarded with scripture verses from all who participated....and so on, and so on. Finally, you were to asked not to break the chain (guilty) and although they knew that you (I) would not, please let someone know if you choose to drop out so in fairness to the others, so the chain wouldn't be broken. More guilt. 


Now let me be clear, sharing Bible verses with friends is a good thing! At first I started to go along with it and respond...and then I was stopped. I don't know if it was the holy spirit or if it was just my own mind telling me that I could possibly be putting a guilt trip on 20 other people if I decided to follow along. I think it might have been a little of both. What I am saying is—and this is only coming from my own personal experience—there is a type of pressure that is put on the recipient to forward this to 10 or 20 friends. What the sender doesn't realize is the guilt associated with it if we don't choose to "bless" our friends by asking them to send it to 10 or 20 of theirs! We all have busy lives, some more than others, but adding pressure to anyone's life is not something that I want to be doing. I also don't need the added guilt. I have more than enough shortcomings and times when I feel I miss the mark terribly. I don't need to add more.


I love my sweet friend like a sister. We have been friends since junior high, were in each other's weddings and I wouldn't hurt her feelings for the world. Her only intention was to encourage me and others, I know that, but sometimes we don't realize that by asking folks to do this, we are putting an undo burden on them...by inadvertently making them feel guilty or making someone else feel the same way. Just my two cents on this.


How do you respond to emails such as this...forward or delete?

I pray your week ahead is blessed...and guilt-free!



30 comments:

  1. I have received so may 'good' forwards with the request to forward them again and they ALL end up at the same place.DELETE.It's not that the content is bad,but I am not interested in forwards that are sent 'just because'.Strangely enough,I don't even feel guilty about deleting them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ruth, I totally agree...like you the majority get tossed without a thought. Because this was "scripture exchange" and it was from my good friend, I was tempted to feel a little guilty...at first :) It didn't last long.

      Delete
  2. Delete. It's a control issue perhaps...I just don't like being told what to do. The worst ones come with some implied threat...delete...delete...delete.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vee, I don't like being told what to do either...mostly when it's by my husband...lol! For the life of me, I don't know why allowed this to :(

      Delete
  3. I've even wondered about the "trail" left behind on those "please forward" activities. I also feel a little guilty, but I never join in.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Debby, I want to tell you that I never answer those kinds of Emails. The whole thing is silly; we are all seeking the Lord and He will speak to us and He may even use that scripture in the Email. I commend you foe even addressing this matter. I have always thought something was wrong with chain letters anyways. I enjoyed this!
    Memo; You don't have my Email do you?? :)
    Blessings, Roxy

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree with you whole heartedly, Debby. I got a similar email a couple of times last year but I wrote back the sender and declined gracefully. She was not upset and said she 'understood'. I hope. I don't like to offend anyone either or make them feel guilty but I also felt guilty for not participating. Thank you for sharing your opinion. It certainly doesn't make us any less a Christian by not participating! Have a blessed week. Pamela

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pamela...you are so right about that...I am so glad we are not judged according to trivial things such as this!

      Delete
  6. I usually end up deleting such messages, and yes, feeling guilty as I do!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I normally do too...since it came from my friend, I almost did it....almost :)

      Delete
  7. I once was racked with guilt if I didn't participate in these types of things but the great part of getting older is getting wiser....:) Delete!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen to that...I normally don't give these a second look either. I only felt a tad guilty because it came from my friend. I wonder if she forwards to all of those peeps???

      Delete
  8. I delete, and then feel really bad about it. And I even worry a little bit that I'm causing some sort of *bad luck* to fall down on my head.

    But, I delete anyway - and then sometimes even pray that God will bless the others that choose to participate!

    GOD BLESS!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The ones that really get me are the ones that say things like "forward this to 20 friends within the next five minutes and you will receive a miracle" OR "If you really love God, you will forward this to 10 of your friends, including the one who sent it you". The originators of these emails has w-a-y too much time on their hands!

      Delete
  9. Funny that I got the exact same email yesterday from a dear friend and you are right, the scripture part made me pause and actually consider it. I never, ever do these--email or regular mail (which I think is actually illegal) and I assume I;m not the only one "breaking the chain" so feel less guilty. What I was considering was whether to let her know I'm not forwarding or just not say anything. After reading Pamela's comment I think I'll mention it to her. I can't think of 20 friends I want to throw this potential guilt on! Interesting post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm...maybe our friends are in kahoots! That is crazy you got one on the same day. I normally don't even hesitate to delete them...but it was my friend....and it was scriptures. Like you, I cannot think of 20 people that would appreciate this...not even 5 or 10!

      Delete
  10. Hi Debby! I have gotten that same email at least twice. I deleted them both (maybe three times?). I didn't ask to be included, and it's nice to be invited and all...but who needs the stress? Just like you said, it goes on to guilt twenty other people. How silly.

    If it was a choice, I think I'd feel differently. But the implied "if you break this you will hurt us all" is like emotional blackmail. Ugh. Who needs it?

    Thank you SO much for 'liking' my Facebook page. I was so happy when I saw that! Everything is very new, so seeing your support meant so much. I just treasure our blog friendship.
    Blessings, Ceil

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you're back....the feelings are mutual!

      Delete
  11. Thanks for dropping by my blog for a visit Debby. I have to admit I just read and delete any emails I'm asked to pass on. We get so much in our inboxes anyway and there are many people that don't know about the etiquette of removing all the previous recipients.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Judith, many times I don't even bother to read them, I am sorry to admit! Because this came from my good friend was the only reason I did. I don't understand why so many people don't seem to realize how inconsiderate it really is :(

      Delete
  12. I delete them too with the very same feelings you have shared. Plus I don't know 20 or 10 or 5 people that would pass it on. Sometimes they come to share recipes but I just don't have the time.

    It has been nice stopping by and catching up with you :)
    Have a good night, sweet blogging friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Lorraine...thanks for stopping by! It's good to know others feel the same...thanks for your input!
      Blessings!

      Delete
  13. An interesting post. Glad you have Jesus in your life!

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ha...I got a Bible Verse Exchange email from my sister right before Christmas, and I declined. Didn't need something else demanding a piece of my schedule...even though a good idea...just too much on my plate already. Guilt did come to mind when I first saw the email and was contemplating on if I should or shouldn't do it. Figured if I was stressed reading it and thinking about when I'd have the time...I didn't need to do it. Sometimes we just have to say, no.
    Blessings,
    Cindy

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi Debby! I've gotten some of the wonderful sounding emails to forward on. But as time goes by I usually pass up the guilt and poke delete! :) Thanks for popping in to see me.
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad I seem to be in good company :)

      Delete
  16. You should be ashamed of yourself ( HA HA HA JUST KIDDING! :) You did the right thing :)

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for stopping by today! Your sweet comments are such an encouragement to me.

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