Wearisome

Yeah, that'd be me.

I've been searching for just the right word and I think I found it.

Wearisome...the state of being weary.

I haven't had the drive to do too much of anything for the past week or so...

although some might say I should be jumping for joy.

But I'm not.

Why wouldn't I not be after my doctor told me last week that I won't be having surgery?
I mean, normally, those are good words to hear, right?

It's too dangerous, they say.

The stricture (narrowing in bile duct) is not in a good place to repair surgically,

but only as last resort, they say.

Once the surgery is done, there's no going back, they say.



So for the past two months I have been psyching myself into the reality of a major,

very invasive surgery to finally get it behind me.

Although I'm relieved that I won't have to spend a couple of months recovering,
the reason why I won't be has sent me down a path that I wasn't quite contemplating.

It seems that now I will be getting another stent placed that is supposed to last up to year.
 We'll see if this will be happening on a regular basis.



Why the change in plan all of a sudden?

I have said ever since I began this journey in January, that I implicitly trust my doctors.

And I still do.

But with everything that is in me, I am determined to trust God more.



Long story short, after a meeting of the minds, my doctors seemed to be in agreement
that it was best to maintain me with stents as long as possible.
I am really very thankful that my doctors wouldn't rush me into a dangerous surgery.

I am scheduled to have the new stent placed at the end of this month.
Our goal is that it lasts a year and will then either be left out and see how I do
or it will be exchanged for a new one.



So...where does that leave us...and our plans for the future?
Right where it always has...right where God leads us.
Right now we are planning (there's that word again) to get the house on the market by fall.
We feel it's time to forge ahead unless we hit another roadblock.
I will continue to be under my Duke doctor's care until (if) we get settled in TN.
Even after that, possibly, for a little while at least.



But the long and short of it comes down to this...I have asked my Father for a miracle.
It's as simple as that.

But no matter what happens, I plan to go along my merry way.
This wearisome business is for the birds...and I think a week of it has been enough!



So tomorrow is another day and the beginning of a brand new week...
...and the beginning of a brand new attitude. 😉

Until next time....

Wednesday Medley: Food for Thought

Hello and happy Wednesday to you!

So the first page of the calendar has been turned over to a new month already.

Wasn't it just last week that I took down that Christmas tree??

As usual, time is ticking right along...way too fast.

Even though the calendar says February, it feels like it's already June here in North Carolina.

We went from having temperatures in the teens last week to the mid 70s this week!

Although quite a treat, I really prefer the weather to be seasonable...

...I know, I'm weird like that. 😏

~

So here's the latest on what's going on with me...

The majority of my blood tests came back within normal limits with just a few things a bit off,

most likely due to some minor jaundice and malnutrition that I have been experiencing. 

You would never know it by looking at me but yes, apparently I'm undernourished.

I have dropped about 20 pounds recently...not in a good way but I am holding steady.

None of the results were red-flagged and all were published to my electronic MyChart account.

They don't release bad news until the doctor explains the results and I have not heard from them.

So far, so good...I think.

I did have the second biopsy last Friday and hope to be getting the results any day now.

This waiting is the worst part but I know sometimes it takes a while to get the right diagnosis.

Patience....ah, patience...I just don't have any it is not always my strong suit!

So I just keep telling myself that this must be God's plan for me...

...and I'm still waiting for the day (patiently?) that our plans coincide.

(I still like my plan better.😉)

So let's get on with this week's Wednesday Medley...

...just hop on over to Terri's blog, copy and paste her questions and answer them on your blog.

It's a fun way to get to know a little more about our blogging friends!

~

TODAY IS NATIONAL FROZEN YOGURT DAY!

1.  Today, Wednesday, February 6th, is Frozen Yogurt Day!  A cold dessert on what must be a very cold day for most of you reading this today!  Do you enjoy frozen yogurt?  Does it matter what the weather is?  Share with us your favorite flavor and/or topping, please!!

Well, actually, it's another day in the mid 70s here today so frozen yogurt sounds pretty good right about now. I do enjoy frozen yogurt and no, it doesn't matter what the weather is for me to have a frozen treat. I couldn't really name a favorite but I have a feeling it might involve chocolate...with no toppings. I am not really much of a "topping" kind of girl. But here lately, yogurt would most likely not be on my list of foods...only if it was fat-free and low sugar. With whatever it is that's going on in my tummy, this would most likely not go down too well.

2.  What food do you know you shouldn't eat but can't help yourself?

To tell you the truth, there are many...but these days it's pretty easy to pass them up.

3.  If your life was a meal, what kind of meal would it be?

Gee, I maybe should have passed on the Medley this week since it's all about food...HA! Let me just try to answer the questions the way I would have answered them before I got sick. Sooooo.....if my life was a meal, it would be a Thanksgiving turkey feast with all the trimmings and usual desserts...comfort food at it's finest. Comfort food comes in many varieties but it always seems to make folks feel better...thus the name "comfort food". I very much want my life to be a comfort to those I encounter along the way.

4.  Do you like spicy food?  Why or why not?  What is the spiciest food you have ever eaten?

I do like a moderate amount of spice but nothing too extreme. Even on a good day, really spicy food doesn't set well on my stomach and gives me indigestion. I'd say the spiciest food I ever had were some REALLY hot buffalo wings so I'm always a bit cautious around them.

5.  (Most of you know I have been sick with a cold.) What food do you eat or crave when you have a bad cold?

Whether it's a bad cold or my currently messed up belly, this is my go-to meal. Yep...good old Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup. It just seems to always hit the spot and has done so as long as I can remember.

6.  Please tell us something random about your week (and maybe it will involve food).

Another week of waiting on more test results and just trying to go about life as usual here. I would actually love it to involve food but nothing much appeals to me lately except the soup...and well....maybe these....

Enjoy the rest of your week, my friends!

Wednesday Medley: God's got this...so let's eat pie!

Hello, my dear friends,

I want to start out by letting you all know how much I've been blessed by your comments.
My heart is overflowing at the outpouring of love and the prayers that are going up on my behalf...
...I have certainly felt them throughout the past week and continue to do so.
There is not one person in this world that could convince me that a bunch of precious girlfriends
from all over the country and beyond, most who have never met face-to-face,
cannot be connected in the ways that many of you have been to me this past week.
You just don't know...BUT, I must tell you!
My hubby, Jim, has been having a very hard time with this...as any of us would.
He wasn't sleeping and for several days just sat quietly, not saying much.
When I told him that I had written about it on my blog last week, he asked if he could read it.
He isn't much of a computer guy so I pulled it up for him.
It seemed like it took him forever to read the post and all of the beautiful comments
so I just left him alone but I know he was sniffling and wiping his eyes the entire time.
He didn't really say much to me afterwards but the following morning when I was in another room,
I heard him talking to Adam on the phone and this is what I heard him say...

"I really feel so much better about everything since I read your mom's blog. 
It was mostly because of all of those comments that people wrote...
...and how everyone is encouraging her and praying for her.
 I feel a lot more positive and somehow, I just have a peace about it now."

See what y'all did?!

I am amazed at how our wonderful God uses our blogs...possibly in many ways we never know.
I am still a bit unsure of what exactly I'm facing but will soon have some definitive answers...
...I see my oncologist on Friday but no matter what...

...GOD'S GOT THIS!
My dear blogging sister, Cindy,  sent me this bracelet...
...she is wearing one too, until I tell her to take it off. 😉
On the other side is Proverbs 3:5-6...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.
~
So let's get on with the Wednesday Medley, shall we?
Hop over to Terri's blog, copy and paste the questions and answer them on your blog!
It's a lot of fun!

National Pie Day is celebrated annually on January 23rd. (Not to be confused with March 14 which is PI π Day.) National Pie Day was created simply to celebrate the pie.  It is a day for all to bake or cook their favorite pies.  Even more importantly, it is a day set aside for all to enjoy eating pies! The first pies appeared around 9500 BC in the Egyptian Neolithic period or New Stone Age.

1.  Okay, fess up.  Tell us your top three favorite pies, please.  Will you have some pie today?

I have shared photos of the favorite family pie several times before in my posts. I grew up eating black raspberry pie since I had teeth in my mouth and wouldn't you know that I would grow up to marry a man who loved it probably more than I do.

Son #1 was not a fan so much (he preferred apple) but Son #2 was a quick sell and for as long as I can remember, both husband and Son #2 has had a home baked black raspberry birthday pie every single year...plus many more here and there, whenever we get together. Let me just say this, whatever this thing is that's tryin' to kick my butt ain't gonna win! Who's gonna fix them boys their pies??? So since I have to pick the top three, rhubarb (or strawberry rhubarb) would come in as #2 and a close 3rd would be lemon meringue.......or maybe pizza. {smile}  Will I be having any pie today? Only if you consider this cherry cheesecake a pie...

...looks more like a pie than a cake to me! Number 1 son, Aaron, has gotten to be master of making them...from scratch! He made six (yes, six!) over the weekend for a banquet he was attending and he gave one to his dad (this would be Jim's #2 choice). Since I'm feeling rather well today, I just may treat myself to a small sliver...since it's National Pie Day and all. 😁

2.  While we are talking about food... are you a picky eater or are you ready to try almost any new food? What is the worst thing you have ever eaten?

I really am not a picky eater although there are times I wish I was. Unless there is really something strange in the dish, I am usually willing to give it a try. My old fashioned mama would occasionally cook some things that would really gross most people out...beef tongue and heart, pork brains, chicken gizzards...just to name a few. I have tasted them all but they will never show up on my table! I remember one time I was eating at a fancy salad bar in Nashville and I put what I thought were very thin strips of beef on my plate. When I tasted it I nearly fell off my chair and then when I was told they were anchovies, I nearly died and I couldn't get them out of mouth fast enough!  And yes, it was the worst thing I've ever eaten.

3.  Baking could be considered an art as could cooking.  How do you define art?

Anything that one does very well...and the possibilities are endless.

4.  Tell us a really stupid joke that made you laugh, please.

Hmmmm...I can't seem to think of a single one! 

5.  January 23rd is also National Handwriting Day. Do you have nice handwriting? Did cursive writing come naturally or did you practice in those double-lined practice books until your fingers hurt?

I used to think my handwriting was nice but anymore, I really have to work at it. I find myself in a hurry and my fingers tend to go faster than my brain, causing misshaped and misspelled words that need correcting. Now, where did I put that White-Out? I do very well remember practicing my cursive on my lined paper and took great pains to get it right. Recently (last year), I wrote this post after I found something I had written for a school project that I gave to my mother. I couldn't believe that I had actually written it with it's exaggerated slant and perfectly shaped letters!

6.  Tell us something random about your week.

Well, random has taken on a whole new meaning in my life these days. Between doctor appointments and different scans and tests, it's been a little CRAY! As I face whatever lies ahead of me, all I have to say is I am so grateful to have you all in my corner!

Much love,

Letting Go

Letting go.

 I wish it was as easy as just opening up your hand...

...the way it was this week when I let go of my birthday balloons.

Many of you know I just celebrated a milestone birthday about a month ago.

 And I'm okay with all of that.
~

A few weeks had passed and the balloons that I received
had been floating around in my dining room ever since that day.

To be honest, I was kind of tired of watching them bobbing up and down,

 and nearly getting caught up in the ceiling fan.
Also, sometimes temporarily forgetting they were there,
I would see these figures moving out of the corner of my eye.
When you are home alone, this can be a bit spooky!

 Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed getting them.

But usually they lose their helium and start sinking after a few days.

Not these.

So, hubby Jim came up with the idea to let them go...so I did!
After I released them, I was amazed as I watched them getting smaller and smaller...
...as they glimmered in the sunlight on their journey upward.
I thought to myself, I wish it was that easy to let other things go that I hold onto.
~
It is so easy to say that I will "let go and let God"...
...it sounds so spiritual, doesn't it?
And sometimes I think I'm successful at doing so.
At least for a while.

Until I find myself taking that burden back...
...or until the next family crisis or other stressful situation occurs.
~
The longer I stood there and watched them drift farther up into the clouds,
I thought to myself, if only I could relate my burdens to those helium-filled balloons,
I wouldn't be able to take them back if I tried...unless I sprouted wings and took off after them!
(I don't think that will happen any day soon :))
So praise be to God...He is using those balloons to teach me something!

In the midst of turmoil just this past week, 

I was reminded that the word of God tells us that we are not to worry.

Worry does nothing but ruin our day, on top of everything else!

This, of course, is easier said than done, but the Lord makes it possible.
~
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ~ Philippians 4:6

And here's the best part.
 When we learn to let things go...even really big things,
that very next verse in Philippians starts happening...
...and the peace of God which transcends all understanding, 
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:7
~
I don't understand how those three-week-old balloons could fly so high...
...so high that we could no longer see them.
I also don't understand how God can take away our burdens...just like that.
I'm glad I'm learning that it's not my responsibility to understand...
...it's my responsibility to keep trusting Him...and to keep letting go.
~
Have a blessed week, my friends :)

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Turn, turn, turn...

To everything - turn, turn, turn

There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven.
(taken from the song, "Turn!Turn! Turn!" written by Pete Seeger, as sung by the Byrds)

Many of you grew up in my decade and surely are familiar with that popular song made famous by the Byrds back in the 60's. The majority of those lyrics were taken right from the third chapter of the Book of Ecclesiastes. There's a time for everything—a time for beginnings and a time for endings. Endings. Sometimes they bring sadness. Sometimes they bring relief. Sometimes they bring both. This week we said goodbye to our beloved cabin in the mountains...you know the one...that little piece of heaven, as I lovingly referred to it, in Fancy Gap, Virginia. I will warn you now that this is post may get a little long so if you choose not to stick with me, I understand. I am writing this for myself but if you choose to join me, I'd love your company. Just so you know :)

It was twelve years ago this very month that we moved all of our flea market and yard sale finds into this cozy little 980 square foot log cabin with the wrap-around porch, perched high atop the mountain at the dead end of Walton Branscome Road. It's kind of a long, drawn out story (just like that last sentence) and I don't mean to bore you with the details surrounding how we came to acquire it. Here's the short version...I'm doing my best! I'll just say that after looking to move our permanent home to a more rural area here in NC, things didn't work out according to our plan. Between putting in an offer on a country place and listing our own home, it just wasn't in the plan to work out. There's that word again—plan. P-L-A-N. Don't we just love to have one? Well, we had ours and evidently, God had His. I guess I don't need to tell you who won...as if it was a contest. After much heartache and confusion, He heard the prayers and the desires of our hearts and pretty much led us to this place.

~

We had fallen in love with the Blue Ridge Mountains when we spent our 25th wedding anniversary there. On a whim, we began looking at some online listings for mountain properties with a small dwelling of some sort...a place where could retreat to on weekends, not too far from home...a place where the guys could hunt, etc. We set up an appointment, met with a realtor and he showed us a few places in our price range. Most of them were run-down trailers on a few acres...and we were fine with that. But I will never forget the day when the realtor took us up a steep gravel road that his pick-up truck could barely muster. When we reached the top (we thought we might not make it!), this is what we saw. 

All that could be heard was the wind rushing through the trees and the sound of the fast moving creek below. We pretty much knew that we had found what we were looking for. The price was right and everything else just seemed right about it too. We had been praying that if we were to acquire another property, it had to be of God's leading. It had to be right....not just something that we wanted.

~

It was June of 2002 and construction was due to be completed by September. We kind of created this little ritual during the weeks of construction. Just about every Friday afternoon when the work week was over, we'd head to Mt. Airy (right at the NC/VA border) which was about 15 miles or so from the cabin. There, we would get a room for the night and if there was still enough daylight to see, we'd head on up the mountain to see what all had been accomplished that week.



We spent our Saturdays making the rounds to every yard sale and flea market we could find. We rented a storage unit and added to it weekly. This continued for a couple of months until our little unit was filled to the brim!

I remember so well the day we moved in...the power had yet to be turned on. I washed all of those yard sale dishes and pots and pans from water heated on the gas grill! Thank goodness the power was turned on the next day. Over the next few weeks, I had so much fun turning it in to our cozy little retreat.

I have a special memory of sitting on the porch swing for the very first time, listening to the gentle wind rustling through the trees, looking out over the mountain view and thanking God for all of it—still in disbelief that He would bless us like this. I mean, who did we think we were anyway? We certainly were not wealthy folks...some people didn't even have one home...why would He allow us to have two? It was then that we committed the cabin to Him. We wanted it to be used as a sanctuary of sorts—for those needing a place to just get away from the world for a little while—a place to draw close to God. Over the next twelve years, Ray's Roost would fulfill it's purpose.

It became the scene of countless get-togethers with family and friends. 

It became a place of quiet, personal retreats. 

It became a honeymoon hide-away and an anniversary get-away.  

It became a  bed & breakfast...where YOU make both! :)

Our older grandsons practically grew up there. Below is one of my favorite photos of them cooling off in the creek. It's hard to believe they are nearly sixteen and fourteen now.

 

This checkerboard which had been on the front porch right from the very beginning is where Dacey, our oldest grandson learned to play when he was about six, taught by his Uncle Adam. Over the last several years, he has beaten the pants off of nearly everyone. It would take those years and many lessons in good sportsmanship before he was actually able to beat his uncle Adam...one time. This is the only thing he said he wanted when he learned the cabin had sold. He is now the proud owner :)

Fall was most definitely everyone's favorite season there, bringing with it glorious color and crisp, cool mountain breezes—perfect for hunting, campfires and s'mores.



Every season had something special to offer though. Even the steep driveway didn't deter us (although it tried) from enjoying many weekends making memories in the snow. Many times we had to park at the bottom of the driveway and walk up, which was quite a workout!

It was the perfect place to be "snowed in".

So many wonderful memories...

Now, back to that so-called plan. Fast forward several years. Some things in life are so easy to take for granted, don't you think? Our "plan" was that we would retire there and sell our home in NC when the that time rolled around. My, how things can change...just when you think you've got it all figured out. Long-time employment can abruptly come to an end, as it has for so many folks in recent years due to the economy. After thirty-six years of working for the same company, it moved all production to Mexico and China. Um, thanks but no thanks. So....making a very long story still long, Jim was laid off with a severance that lasted about 18 months...miraculously the amount of time it took him to find employment. Although the pay was much less from what he was used to, he was doing something he loved—managing a group home and caring for men with special needs. He has always had a desire and a calling to work with these special individuals. His job, is in essence, his ministry. Sometimes it's just not all about the money, is it? But the reality was that we had two homes to pay for on a greatly reduced salary. The math just didn't work any more.

Seeing this sign for the first time was very hard for me to accept and I was an emotional mess off and on for nearly three weeks. Although I knew that selling it was the bitter reality, I still cried out to God, asking for another way...silly, I know. So I prayed for peace and acceptance. I don't know exactly how or when I sensed the Lord speaking to me but He helped me to make the decision that I was just going to put on my big girl panties and enjoy it as long as He allowed us to....whether it was for a month or a year...or more. Finally, after being on the market for almost a year (very slow market in rural VA) we got two offers in one day...one on the low end and the other, the full asking price...cash! That was about three weeks ago and needless to say, it has been a whirlwind, to say the least! 

A week ago today we loaded up and this past Tuesday, we sealed the deal and said our final goodbyes to our cozy little cabin on the mountain. My head tells me that it's only a wooden structure but in my heart, it was like saying goodbye to a member of the family for the last time. But God just kept on blessing, right up to the end. As He would have it, we had the opportunity to get to know the precious new owners who were beyond thrilled. 

LG and Phyllis

I will never forget how sweet Phyllis put her hand on my shoulder and looked at me with the most compassionate eyes and said, "I can only imagine how much you will miss this place and want you to know that we will take such good care of it."  This is really hard to put into words but it almost felt as though they had just adopted one of our children, promising to love them forever.

But, life does go on, even when our plan doesn't line up with The plan. As I was going through the photos I wanted to use in this post, I came across this one from several years ago. Even though it doesn't do any justice to the actual sunset, in the twelve years we had the cabin, I don't think I ever saw one quite as magnificent as this. I remember standing on the deck on that cold winter evening and thanking God for this wonderful gift and for His goodness. And although these moments are now just memories, they are gifts that keep on giving...until we can remember them no more. (And if you're still with me, I appreciate it :)

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." 

~Dr. Seuss

To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven . . .

—Ecclesiastes 3:1


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