Sunday, January 13, 2019

Bridging the Gap

Hello my dear friends!
I do hope that your journey into 2019 has gotten off to a good start. As for mine...well, let me just say it looks like there will very well be a few twists and turns...even a pothole or two...or a huge chasm in need of a bridge.

Remember I said I'd share with you some recent progress on the Tennessee property? Well, that is what this post was supposed to be about...yes, we have a bridge! I started to write this post before Christmas with the intent of sharing just that...and here it is...no more wading across or riding the four-wheeler across the creek...unless you want to, that is.


But sometimes, just when we think we have a good handle on the plan God has for us, well...
we just don't!

For the past couple of months, I have been feeling a little not-so-great...episodes of nausea, mid-back pain, chills...more often than not it seemed. There were also some other choice symptoms that we don't need to go into. 😒 A couple of weeks ago I experienced what I thought could be a kidney stone. The episode was short-lived but I had already made an appointment with my doctor so I kept it. All lab work was normal and my pain was gone but she wanted me to get a CT of my kidney and abdomen ASAP. I left her office and went straight to the hospital for the scan. The next day after the results were read, I was scheduled for an MRI, ordered STAT...that's more than a little bit scary on it's own. The CT had shown a spot on my pancreas that wasn't on a previous CT that I had at the end of last October, only two months earlier. So earlier this week, I met with my GI doctor to explain the results to me. The news hit me like a brick up the side of my head. I apparently have a tumor growing on the outside of the back side of my pancreas, thus the back pain. And not the typical place for pancreatic cancer to grow. The chance of malignancy is quite great, but there is a slight chance it is not. The blood test for a certain cancer marker rated only a 1...which could have been in the 100s or even 1000s! It is possible that what is growing could be an abscess which could also be detected by the cancer marker test. So that is what I'm clinging to until I hear the results of the biopsy that I will be having this coming Wednesday. Because the tumor is growing around the two main arteries that go up into the liver, it is not in a place that is operable and could only be treated with chemo if it is indeed cancerous.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
~Proverbs 3:5-6 

Telling Jim, our boys and the rest of the family and loved ones has been a surreal experience. Were those words really coming out of my mouth? There is no real way to describe the feeling. So the past few days have been a whirlwind of meeting with the oncologist, ordering more tests and trying to let the reality of whatever this thing is sink in. Of course I don't have all of the information yet, but if it is malignant, I will most likely start chemo by the end of the month.

So why am I telling you all my business anyway? Because I think that many of us here in Blogland are connected at the heart...maybe even kindred spirits if you will...and we care deeply for each other. Many of you have prayed for me and my son, Aaron, and those prayers have been felt...God has done and is still doing wondrous things! I have prayed for many of you as well. That's what friends who put their faith in the Lord do, right? We intercede for each other when it's hard to even mouth the words, ourselves.


So how does all of this relate to a post about the bridge? What is the purpose of a bridge and why do we build them? Because of gaps! There is land here and land there and a gap in between. The gap can be a small one like the little bridge over the creek or maybe even a middle-sized one.


Or it may be a really big one to accommodate a mighty river or a huge canyon. My friends, I am rarely one to ask for prayers for myself but I am now asking for those of you that will, help to be my bridge over the troubled waters that are awaiting me.

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“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. 
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change, 
though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble with its tumult.” 
~Psalm 46

It's that fear thing that I'm having trouble with. I know my God can heal me if it is in His will to do so.  And I thought that we were really being very careful to not push our plan too hard...but to patiently wait on God to see how He was leading the way. It really seemed like everything was coming together and we would soon be moving to Tennessee and building that farmhouse. Just like that, our hopes for the future were dashed! To say that we are confused by it all would be an understatement. I know that somewhere buried under all of this confusion, God has all of the answers.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; 
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. 
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; 
the flames will not set you ablaze.
~Isaiah 43:2

As I began writing this post, the song "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" by Simon and Garfunkle came to mind right away. I'm not sure what Paul Simon was going through when he penned the lyrics but I read somewhere that it was inspired by a single line from an old black gospel song...‘I’ll be your bridge over deep water if you trust in my name.’ It wouldn't take much to change out a few words and the song could be like reading one of the Psalms or a heartfelt song of worship.

When you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all
I’m on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you’re down and out
When you’re on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I’ll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down


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Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. 
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, 
for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
~Joshua 1:9
I have already seen God working through these circumstances and have been overwhelmingly blessed by many...and I do know that He has a plan...I just wish He'd let me in on it! I'm impatient like that, are you? So I will keep writing on my little blog and update my situation as it goes along. As I stated earlier, I will have a biopsy on Wednesday and many more fun things later, I'm sure. But for now, tomorrow is Monday and off I will go to work as usual! Thank you so much for your prayers!

Like a bridge over troubled waters, God will ease your MY mind.

Much love,

40 comments:

  1. I've already said a prayer while I was reading this and I will continue to pray this week as you have the tests and find out what treatments you may need. I'm so glad you shared this with us. We are indeed a community of friends that care....and pray for each other. You've found some wonderful scriptures that bring comfort to you and to all of us. Take care my friend. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do. With love, Diane

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  2. Dear, dear Debby...sigh...my heart sank as I read these words and my thoughts just seemed...slow is the best way I can explain them.
    You my dear friend, will certainly be on my prayer list daily, and as you cross my mind I will take you before the throne of God and believe that our Great God is going to see you through this as He guides you, comforts you, loves you, and carries you over this bridge you must cross.
    We all have bridges to cross and God does not want us crossing them until it is the right time. He will take us up to the bridge, but we must wait for His leading, for then it is the perfect timing.
    God is with you ♡

    Sending you much love and BIG {{HUGS}} 😚

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  3. Oh dear friend, I am so sad to read this. I wanted to read of perhaps a problem with getting your bridge built.....but no. The unknown is frightening but I do know God is right there with you and your family and He will gently guide you and the doctors and all those who you will meet concerning your health care. It would be so hard to not feel real fear, not to worry; so easy to be impatient, to want to know now....but God knows and understands the doubts, the fears, the galloping thoughts, the...oh so many feelings. He is loving you and caring for you and gently comforting you and your family as you walk along this impossible path. Please know that you and your family will be upmost in my thoughts and prayers over the next while. I am sending you many hugs wrapped in love♥

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  4. Oh, Debby. I am so sorry to hear this. I know how much moving to be closer to your family has meant to you as we have similar plans. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Just know that He has you in His loving arms and that is where you will find comfort during this difficult time.

    Sending my love,

    Cindy

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  5. I was already praying before I reached the end of this post and you will continue to be in my prayers over the coming week. Also sending you a hug and hope that it will be a comfort, stay strong and know that you are loved.

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  6. Sweet, sweet friend. You know I am praying! Girl, when I hate hear myself with a recorded voice and sent you a video of me talking....then you know that I love you! LOL! Got my bracelet on for you this morning too. GOD'S GOT THIS! Prayers abounding and not ceasing. Love you so much. Hugs and blessings, Cindy

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  7. Oh Debby... I'm am so sorry that you are facing such a health challenge. I am praying for good news when you meet with your Doctor. Stay strong, sweet friend.

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  8. Debby, you are already in my prayers and on my daily prayer list, by name. Trust in the Lord! Cancer is a scary diagnosis, but you don't have that diagnosis just yet. God is in control and knows our needs. Hugs and love, my friend!!

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  9. Dear Friend, Amy and I are reading this together! You will be in our prayers... Try not to worry and as you said He will work this all out slowly but surely!!
    Love, Roxy and Amy

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  10. You have all my prayers Debby!!! I definitely trust that if "If God brings me to it; God will bring me through it". Hugs and hang in there!

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  11. Oh Debby.What can I say? This hits me in a very tender spot of my heart.I was given Isaiah 43:2 long before I knew what the future had in store, but I have clung to that so many times. I encourage you to do the same.I will be putting your name on my prayer lists that I will be reminded every day to lift you up to the Master Physician. Please do keep me informed. May God carry you during these difficult days.

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  12. There is absolutely no doubt that we are connected to each other! How could we read so much about each other's lives and not care for one another? Even less than constantly present members of the blog community like me, care a great deal about the people I've met through blogging. And so, please ask for prayers, although, with this group, I doubt you need to. As soon, as those first words were read, "pancreatic tumor," prayers were being uttered.

    Hugs to you Debby, hugs and love and prayers,
    Andrea

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  13. Oh I am so sorry to hear this, Debby. I prayed as I read it. God is in control of all things, we just need to trust with all our hearts. I know it is easy to say and sometimes hard to do but He doesn't give us a spirit of fear but of power, Love and a sound mind. I have had to tell myself this many times lately. Praying all goes well on Wednesday.

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  14. Like so many here, I was already praying before I reached the end of your post.
    My thoughts, prayers and good wishes are with you, and your loved ones.
    I hope all goes well on Wednesday.

    All the best Jan

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  15. Debby, I don't think it is coincidental at all that God allowed the bridge to be built in Tennessee while also allowing this trouble with your pancreas to be found out all at the same time. It is no coincidence, and I do also believe it is a sign that God wants you to understand that while the waters are stormy, muddy, difficult and turbulent, a bridge takes you across all of that without any trouble at all! And I feel very strongly that the Lord has given you a strong sign that you are not to fret, and to believe that all is well! Whatever is to come of this, HE is going to provide a bridge that will take you safely across it all, and you will come out on the other side praising His name for HIS provision. HOLD onto this vision, and trust His grace and provision through all of this, you are at a crossing that is scary, full of turbulence and trouble, but I am assured that the bridge the Lord will provide will carry you safely across! And you will be in my prayers dear friend! Our GOD is an awesome God, and it is in the times of desperate need that HE is able to work HIS mightiest miracles! Prayers going forth on your behalf in Jesus name! Hugs!

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    Replies
    1. I feel the power in this and I am agreeing with you that no weapon forged against you shall prosper.

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    2. Oh, so beautifully put, Marilyn! Thank you for sharing your heart.

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  16. Oh, Debby, this has made my heart so, so sad for you. Thank you so very much for sharing this with us so that we can join you in prayer. I already have written your name in my daily prayer journal and will be much in prayer for a good result on your biopsy. You are so inspiring in your commentary here today and yes, we know HE is able to see us through the darkest of times but it is so tough. You have become so dear to my heart through our blogs and know that you are in my heart and prayers. Hugs to you!

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  17. Oh so sorry to hear your news. I've already said a prayer that it is just an abscess and will pray for you each morning while on my walk.
    Like that bridge pictures.

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  18. Let us stand back and see what The Lord will do. I am so praying for an excellent report filled with the best possible news. He is still in the healing business. I know He means you good and not harm. What a beautiful post this is...a gift to Blogdom. Yes, count me in for the prayer team, too. ♥️

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  19. Oh, dear friend! My heart is so sad and heavy reading these words. Oh, how I will pray for you! You are so loved and cared about and such a dear blessing to all of us who come here to read your precious blog. I know this news hit you like a lead balloon out of nowhere, but it did not surprise our dear Lord. He saw it coming, and He is constantly holding you in His hand. You are such a dear daughter of the King, and He is so pleased with you. Mom used to tell me that God is pleased the most when we lean on Him the hardest. I am trusting Him that this will NOT be malignant, and that this horrible trial will be made into a blessing in your life...a cause to rejoice and praise Him for the miracle. I am believing alongside you that you will be in that new beautiful home in Tennessee, just like you planned. Please keep encouraged, and know that God is already there in your Wednesday, and He is taking care of you. Sending much love and many, many hugs to you, my dear friend.

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  20. Praying for you Debby as you go through each day. Trust in the Lord in the details and lean on your family. I know it's a scary thing. I wish I could give you a hug!
    I love your bridge to your place...one more step to your new life there.

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  21. Well, Debby, you are right. This blogging community cares deeply about one another, and so you are assured of so many prayers on your behalf!

    I would say to you this: Begin to pray for "grace for the day." Several years ago when Ron was fighting a huge battle for his health and was in the hospital growing worse day by day, some days the only prayer that I could pray was, "Lord, please give me grace for the day." That is the only thing that we truly need . . . grace for each day. Grace for each step. When we think way ahead, we can imagine all sorts of things and can easily become overwhelmed. But when we just take one step at a time, He is faithful to walk with us there. I am praying for you to know His grace as you wait for answers. Grace for this day of waiting. Then grace for another day. Taking each step and each day as it comes . . . knowing that your hand is in His powerful one and that He is leading you.

    Huge hugs and many prayers . . .

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  22. Oh Debby, I'm just catching up after being with my sister in snowy Ohio, for her birthday. I am certainly impatient like you, but we do know that God has all this. I will be praying for you, and I thank you for reaching out to us for prayers. We DO care about our friends, that although we may have never met, we still KNOW them and LOVE them. I'm sending love and hugs across the miles....xxxooo. God bless you.

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  23. I’ll be your bridge over these troubled waters and I will lay you down at the feet of Jesus just I am doing right now. I am feeling the power of God in this very room as I pray for you and write this post. You have prayed for me many times and it’s my turn to help you carry this burden to Jesus. He is able! We are believing that just as the tumor markers indicate that there
    Is no cancer! In the name of Jesus, by His stripes you are healed in the name of Jesus. I’m gonna ask my church friends to pray. Love you,dear friend. My prayers will be ever with you. My heart is heavy for you but I know He will lift that burden to him. When we were waiting for David’s oncologist visit my SS teacher said that the verse says we should present our request to God with THANKSGIVING and God’s peace will come. I thought that strange at first but as I began to thank Him for the good that would come, I experienced God’s peace. Love you. Hugs and Prayers.

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  24. My beautiful friend, please know that I shall be covering you in prayer. Our God is so good and faithful...I am trusting He will carry you across the bridge safely. You are a precious friend, dear Debby, and I love and appreciate you. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. Sending sweet hugs, lots of love, and many prayers your way!

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  25. Debby, thanks for being willing to share your journey with us. Please know that I will be lifting you in prayer - confident that, yes, He does have a plan and that whatever bridges are on the path ahead..He will cross them hand in hand with you.

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  26. Oh, dear Debby. I am coming in late reading this news since I've been away from my computer. I am so sorry to hear about your troubled waters. I will pray for you my friend and lift you up to our creator. I can't imagine hearing this news. Today is your biopsy and I'm praying for the procedure to go well and the results to be manageable. Hoping for the best. Hugs...

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  27. I am late reading this...I pray that there have been some sort of good news in all this. I will definitely add you to my prayers. I am praying for God to give you comfort, no matter what comes or goes...and that He will hold you close. It is hard to be patient and not worry, but worry does no good at all.

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  28. I'm late to comment, though I did read this when you first posted it and have been praying ever since. I've been praying that it might be just an abscess. Whatever it is, God knows and He will bring you through on the other side.

    I loved this post, so beautifully and thoughtfully written. The whole analogy of the bridge reminded me of the disciples in the boat with Jesus. He was sleeping and they felt they had to wake Him when the storm came up. They had apparently forgotten that He had said, "Let us pass over unto the other side" (Mark 4:35). He has a plan for you too, on the way to and on the other side of whatever this turns out to be.

    Please keep us posted as you are able, and do email me if you have further specific requests I could be praying for.

    Much love in Him!

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  29. I am praying for you especially, Debby, and for Jim and Aaron and for the doctors. I promise to keep praying. I love your total dependence upon, trust in, and love for God our Father. God bless you as you go forward, surrounded by prayers on all sides.

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  30. I just discovered your blog from "Your Friend in Florida" (Terri) when you wrote on her Wednesday Medley. This was my first time doing the Wed. Medley thing, so I was checking out who else was there and found you. I am writing to tell you that I will be praying for you as you go through this journey into the unknown. The one thing we do know is, you are not alone. God is with you all the way. He already knows what you will need and how He is going to provide it for you. He's got you covered in the palm of His hands, and even tucked safely under His wings. Our God is an awesome God, and you will never ever be alone in this walk. Praying for you, your doctors, your husband and family and friends. I will be following you from now on to keep up with your progress. God bless you dear new friend.

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  31. Dearest Debby, I have been absent from Blogland lately and when I saw your Wednesday Medley, I knew I had to find this one first. I am speechless … but this post is one of the most profound ever and I know that the Lord will strengthen you and uphold you through all this. It is indeed so difficult to hear reports like this, but I pray that the next report will be more encouraging for you and for your healing. May the Lord bless and keep you and your family in His peace as only He can. So many people to support you and so many prayers going up.

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  32. Dear Debby,
    I'm late to this post - read your most recent one and came straight here for clarification. I am praying for you now even as I write. God does have this. He holds you in the palm of his hand and loves you so dearly. I'm praying for calm in the storm, for his mighty healing in your life, and for confusion in your mind to be cleared. In Jesus name.

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  33. Just caught up with your blog and I want you to know that you have my prayers too.

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  34. Dear Debby, seems like I am always lagging behind. Please know that you have my prayers too.

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  35. Debby,

    I don't know if you have results yet, but I am continuing to pray that it is non cancerous. What treatment would they do for that? I am reminded that God knows and that He will never leave you nor forsake you.

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  36. Dear Debby ...I have just returned to blogland... and came to renew our friendship..It seems that I have arrived alittle late l but traveled directly to this post .. Dear Friend...Knowing that you are troubled makes me sad ...I want to hug you but rather I will tell you not to worry, as God is going to bring you to the place that he has prepared for you (Exodus 23:20) Trust him through the journey. In all our experiences in life " FAITH" is the bridge between where you are and where God is taking you... to learn, experience and know that you are safe within his hands... Bridge Over Troubled Water is the perfect song to heal your soul... I am sending ' healing prayers and love to you and your family ...MAY GOD BLESS.

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Thank you for stopping by today! Your sweet comments are such an encouragement to me.

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